..."popsicles on the porch"...what a great afternoon treat and our favorite way to spend time together! These are simple and precious moments! Princess #1 and Princess #2 along with Little Man #1 and #2 are my inspiration for most of these writings.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

The OMG Moments

Life with 3 small kiddos is definitely an adjustment. In my previous post I said I'd share some OMG moments that have happened in the past 6weeks since Cash came home.

OMG #1--The Little Mommy -our 3 yr old scared us half to death when she snuck into mommy and daddy's room and unbuckled her 1 week old brother from his swing! Cash was swaddled up snug as a bug, swinging in his swing. He had been sleeping peacefully for at least 2hrs. Papi was outside with the girls while mommy decided to get some things taken care of around the house. All was fine or so we thought.

While I was cleaning the girls room, out of the corner of my eye I see little Isa dodging by. By this time I had grown weary of seeing her come in and out of the house for snacks, drinks, potty breaks, and etc… I was on my way outside to talk with her when Tim busted through the house urgently wanting to know what was going on?? I was totally caught off guard and had no idea what he was talking about. He then told me that Isa walked up to him outside carrying little Cash. She was cradling him very motherlike while shushing and loving all over him. Cash was sound asleep through it all. OMG!!! I shudder at the thought of what could have happened. Thank you Jesus for watching over our precious little one.

OMG #2 --Elianna the Pouncer--And if that wasn't enough, our other lil gal is insistent on crawling into Cash's crib with him! Not to mention, she loves to hand him toys and dolls through the crib railing. Yikes!

OMG #3--HELP!!—Typically, every Friday afternoon we hang out with our neighbors on our driveway while we watch the kids play. They love to ride their bikes, blow bubbles, and chalk on the driveway with their friends! This has become a special time to connect and build relationships with our neighbors on our street as well.

Recently my girls have become very fascinated with picking berries. This particular day they had gone over to pick berries at my neighbor’s house just two houses down. All the kids love this neighbor! He’s somewhat of a kid magnet! You can bet when he’s outside the kids are over there talking with him, helping him do yard work, getting their bikes oiled, and etc…

So, we saw my neighbor come out and talk with the girls as we waived at him from our driveway. All was fine or so we thought. Suddenly we saw the rear lights from his car come on from inside his garage and his car started backing out of the driveway!! Little Elianna and Isabella stood there, just barely clear of the driveway, picking berries and totally oblivious to what was going on behind them.

My heart sank! Tim and I both jumped up as fast as we could screaming and shouting at my neighbor, but he couldn't hear us. As we raced to get to our girls, Tim hit a pot hole in the ground and fell down in front of me hurting his knees pretty badly. As I hurdled over him to my girls, all I kept thinking was Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God!!! I saw my girls look up at me as the car backed out of the driveway just inches away from where Elianna stood. “OMG, please don't turn around and run away from me...please don't think this is a game.” Literally, if she would have stepped back one step she would have been run over. Just one week away from her two year birthday, I shudder at that thought.

Needless to say, Tim and I were pretty shaken up. I went inside and fell to my knees. All I could do was weep. Weep and thank the Lord for protecting my girls. For being our extra hands, extra feet, extra eyes and shielding our girls from harm when we weren’t able to do so.

All of these incidences have happened within a few weeks from one another and all within a short period of bringing our baby boy home. I know that I am called to walk by faith and not live in fear, but the fact that we’ve had such nearly serious accidents so close to one another really causes all sorts of fear and unhealthy thoughts to rise up in me. Thoughts like--can I really trust God with my children? Where is the balance of not being too overprotective vs. being too relaxed?? How do I truly surrender my children to the Lord? These are the questions I have been asking myself lately.

As I submit myself before the Lord, I am sensing a deeper calling of surrendering, to trust in Him. When I think about how to do that i.e. what does it look like to surrender? how does it feel? and etc… the most vivid picture of surrendering that I know of is the recent experience I had giving birth to our baby boy. And when I think about that, it truly does terrify me! Yet, without surrendering how can I truly experience the joy of my children if I am constantly living in a state of fear? Making decisions based on “what ifs?” I don’t want to live in that kind of prison.

Similarly, in order to experience the joy of holding your child for the first time, you must let go, to surrender your mind, heart and body completely over. It’s a scary place to be. Why? Because you’re completely helpless. You’re no longer in control. No one can help you, no one can labor for you, no one can take the pain from you. You are truly in a state of dependence -- dependence upon the Lord. Trusting that He will give you the strength you need. Surrendering is an act of the will and often times a precursor to the joy that follows.

So, as I think about how to surrender my children over, what I do know with all my heart is that the Lord CAN be trusted and that His hands are the safest place for my children to be. His watching over my children in each of these incidences is proof of that! Besides, His Word tells me their days are numbered, so there’s nothing that I can do to add to that even when I take all the necessary precautions. So really, what do I gain by worrying? By fighting to be in control? Nothing. Nothing but stomach aches and sleepless nights.

Though I am terrified, I am thankful that motherhood is challenging my faith and drawing me into deeper waters with our Savior. As I journey with Him through this season I feel joyful, terrified, reluctant, shielded, in awe, in love, and so unbelievably blessed!


chona said...

thank God for His protection! We can definitely make ourselves crazy overthinking those "what if's" - life will be filled with them! Hang in there and continue bathing your family in prayer!

Kathryn Bonner said...

Hey Sweet Mel,

Praise the LORD, Praise Him, Praise Him, Praise Him!

Here is the perfect verse for you... I have taken the liberty to insert your name into the Scripture...

"Melanie, I will keep you in perfect peace because your mind is stayed on Me, and because you trust in Me." Isaiah 26:3

Love you much my sweet friend!!