IT"S ALL ABOUT ME???

When Tim and I first got married, we had the typical American dreams and hopes of having a nice home, car, and family; two kids to be exact, one boy and one girl each.  Looking back now, this “I’ll take 2” special order kind of request seems so silly (selfish is probably a better word)! 


I guess this was the perfect little world I had imagined for myself. However, what I came to discover is that I wanted the blessing of having children without those little blessings interfering too much with my plans, my hopes, my ambitions, and my ideals for achieving success.


It was, well how should I put it...all about ME! ME!! ME!!!

Yikes! That stings.

As Tim and I dreamed together about what our future family would like, here were some of the questions that ran through my mind as I pictured my perfect happy family......

• How will having children affect our pocket book? This is a practical question. Afterall, college isn't getting any cheaper.  

• We won’t be able to just get up and go? Guess we’ll have to kiss those trips to Europe goodbye!

• My biggest concern…what affect will a family have on my job/career?  How can I manage and juggle both? 

It’s taken a while for God to help me see the murky waters of my heart and how it was really all about me. Funny, how it’s so easy to see the junk in others, yet so hard to see it in ourselves. I didn’t realize it at the time and let's face it, probably would have just convinced myself that all my ambitions would benefit my future family. Yea, that's it! No, really....I was doing it all for my family! How can that be selfish...right?  What I've come to better understand is that at the root of it all....it was all about ME!!

I am a firm believer in setting goals, don't get me wrong however, as a Christ "follower" how was I actually "following" God?  Proverbs 16:9 puts it this way....


A man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9


As I take a step back, I realize now that I was unintentionally boxing God in to fit "my" preconceived notions of the perfect family. I wanted Him to fit into my plans and on my terms. Unbeknownst to me, I had bought the lie that said I could "have it all" and that all I had to do was aim high and work harder. The question is...at whose expense? At what cost? All you have to do is look around at the family in today's culture to figure that out.  Divorce plagues our society and children suffer greatly.  All in the name of ME!! 

Johnathan Edwards, one of America's greatest Theologians writes about our passions that move us to action. The following passage really resonated with me and the innerwork God has been doing in me. 

The nature of human beings is to be inactive unless influenced by some affecftion: love or hatred, desire, hope, fear, etc.. These affections are the "springs of action," the things that set us moving in our lives, that move us to engage in activities. When we look at the world we see that people are exceedingly busy.  It is their affections that keep them busy. If we were to take away their affections, the world would be motionless and dead; there would be no such thing as activity. It is the affection we call covetousness that moves a person to seek worldly profits; it is the affection we call ambition that moves a person to pursue worldly glory; it is the affection we call lust that moves a person to pursue sensual delights. Just as worldly affections are the spring of worldly actions, so the religious affections are the spring of religious actions.

The "me" centered mentality is what ultimately drove me; the desire to achieve and to be known. It resulted in my poor view of family and clouded me from really embracing the beauty of my role as mother to my children and wife to my husband. As God continues to put to death the "me" centered corners of my heart,  He is faithful in teaching me that His ways are not my ways. As I reflect on where my affections are it causes me to remain open to what God has for me instead of what I have for myself.
  
I no longer view family as a weight I have to balance and juggle as I create a place for myself in this world. Rather, God has birthed in me such a passion for my family/home. I want to model for my children a woman who is unashamed of working in her home. A woman who is not willing to sacrifice her family on the altar of her ego or desire to have bigger, better, more. A woman who weighs every opportunity (even ministry opportunities) in light of how it will affect her family and ultimately how it will bring glory to Jesus. 

I am a woman who is  discovering that my gifts are not dormant simply because I'm at home, but rather God is using and even sharpening these gifts right here among the members of my own family. Futhermore, the lessons learned here will be the tools I need for the seasons yet to come.   

As I learn to "follow" Jesus and submit EVERY area of my life to Him, I am discovering more and more the beauty of Jesus' words in Matthew 16:25

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.

So what about you...have you found your life?

The road of my life looks different....and I love it!  Two kids are now four kids!  I think of all the blessings I would have forfeited had I settled for the "Ill take two, that will do" mentality and all I can say is thank you Jesus. Thank you for opening my eyes and softening my heart and challenging this stubborn and prideful woman. Help me to care more about making your name great in my life instead of my own. May that be what truly drives me!

In my next few posts, I will continue to reflect upon where my affections are as it relates to my decision to stay at home full time and my commitment to homeschool...things I thought I'd NEVER do! My oh my has my definition of success been challenged! 

Who Would have Thought?

Ever have those times when you look back on your life and think…man, how did I get here? 


As I look back over the years, I am discovering that many things I said I would NEVER do, somehow God has led me to do those very things! 


Here are a few things I never thought or said I’d NEVER do!

·    Work in the ministry
·    Have more than 2 children
·    Be a stay at home mom
·    Homeschool
·    Marry a minister


Guess you never say never! ; )  

Nothing looks like what I had envisioned and I’m loving it! Who would have ever thought I’d have 4 kids, be a stay at home mom and now a homeschooling director!!  Not me that’s for sure!  

I am so thankful that God knows the plans He has for me. Plans that are far better than any I could have laid out for myself.

In fact, I know for sure, if left up to me I would have made a complete mess out of things. In my next few posts, I want to take some time to reflect on what God has been working out in my heart and talk about the things that have me smiling and saying… “Who Would Have Thought?”  :) 

For now, here is an incredible video of one of my favorite speakers and local Houston area Pastor, Voddie Baucham reciting a very thought provoking poem entitled, “Put The Baby In The Beemer.”  Though I’ve never owned a Beemer and never really aspired to, the message behind it articulates with such veracity the “it’s all about me mentality” that plagues our culture. As I reflect, I see a woman who was once willing to place my family on the altar of my ego in order to satisfy those deepest desires that not even I knew were there. That is, until God got a hold of my heart and helped me to better understand the precious gift of family that he’s given me and most importantly the value of my role in my home.

A Family Tradition....Celebrating Advent!

We're celebrating advent! The Jesse Tree is a family tradition we do every year, but this year we're tweaking it just a little. 


Since we've already made our Jesse Ornaments from previous years, this year we'll wrap them up and place them underneath the tree. Each night one kid will get to unwrap the ornament followed by that night's scripture reading and devotional and hang it on the tree. Maybe the kids will even get to put on a little skit and act out the story for us. ; ) 


To find out more about the Jesse Tree read more HERE.

I DID IT!

I attended my first homeschooling convention this past summer.  You know the one, the "mother of all conventions" held in the Woodlands every summer.  If you've never been or if you ever get the chance, I'd highly recommend it.  You've got to go at least once!  There are so many wonderful educational materials, resources, and informative seminars for just about any homeschooling parent.  

Whether you're a veteran homeschooler who needs fresh ideas or just a beginner like me, there is something there for everyone.  Heck, even f you're not a homeschooling parent, just thumbing through all of the delicious books and educational resources is enough for me. I'm not just talking about curriculum, but books, games, manipulatives, school supplies, and etc.... 

However, I must warn you...a newbie like myself is sure to get lost in the sea of booths in the exhibit hall. I absolutely loved it! I just wished I had the budget to buy everything I had my eye on!


On the practical side, here was something I picked up that has really come in handy. ...the I Did My Chores Chart! We've been using it for the last few months and the girls love it!  Not only are they learning responsibility but they're also learning the rewards of hard work. 


Here's how it works:


Chore cards are color coded to reflect the time of the day and assigned morning, noon, and night.  When a chore is completed, they immediately place it in the "I did it box!"  At the end of the day, they receive a token for each card in the box.  Tokens are then redeemable for rewards previously established. For example, 5 tokens could be redeemable for a piece of candy, 8 tokens for a free dessert, 15 tokens for extended bed time....you name it!


Of course, the other side of this thing is that tokens can also be taken away.  My girls have felt the sting of this and hate withdrawing money from their piggy bank to give to mommy.


Since our first grader is learning how to count money, we've altered the system a bit.  Instead of collecting tokens they are earning small change: a nickel per card earned. The girls love to cash in their money for rewards like camping out in the living room and watching a movie or a trip to the dollar store. 


So far, we've had great success! I am most impressed that my four year old makes her bed first thing in the morning without fail! 

She even walked into my room one afternoon, took one look at my bed and exclaimed, "Mommy, I think we need to get you a chore chart too!" Ouch! : )

Pink is the color, Barbie is the theme and Potterybarn has been our Inspiration

Since Tim has had off this week, we’ve been busy around the house tackling various projects.  

With that in mind, I have been wanting to cover the girls' bedroom window, but just wasn't sure yet about what to do -- until I came across a pair of tulle curtains a friend had given us a while back. Surprisingly, they resurfaced this week while we were cleaning out the garage...imagine that!  Since they didn't fit over the bedroom window, we got a little creative and decided to use them to frame the dressing area of the girls bedroom closet. 

I still have to paint, but doesn't it look cute. I love that we were finally able to put these to use. 

After hanging, I realized how simple the stitch looked and decided to make another set of tulle curtains for the bedroom window.  Being such a beginner sewer, I was a little intimidated about sewing tulle, but was amazingly surprised at how easy it was!  Nothing like a little inspiration to get you going (and a little encouragement from your sister who of course can make just about anything!).   

So, here is the tulle valance I made for the girls bedroom window. It has a zebra print border and pink jewels. Very girlie for my two girly girls. 

Now, onto the tulle bedskirt modeled after the ones in Potterybarn. This bedskirt sells for $150.00 for a twin size bed. Five yards of tulle for the above cost me $6.00 at Hobby Lobby. You do the math! ; ) 

Costume Fun 2010

After all my smack about not having enough time to sew costumes for the girls, I ended up caving in when I couldn't find Isabella's costume anywhere.  It seems Word Girl was a pretty popular costume for her size, not to mention shipping would have cost me a fortune!

After researching a little on the internet, I got some great tips from other mommys on how to put the outfit together without breaking the bank.  I dug around a little bit and realized we had an Incredibles costume from last year that we could reuse as Word Girl's red leotard. My only issue would be covering up the black sleeves, ankles, trunks and Incredible emblem on the front of the chest.  

Here's where the mommy tips came in handy!

For Word Girl's shield, I used red and yellow foam craft paper from the craft store.  Tim helped me draw the shield (because I am so not an artist) and star. I then simply cut these out and stuck them over the Incredibles emblem. 

For the headpiece I cut out a piece of red stretch fabric and hot glued it to a head band. Then i simply added velcro to the bottom side of the head piece to attach underneath her chin.  

The belt was an old stretch glitter belt that I use to have from one of my many years in dance and drill team. I simply cut out a yellow and brown circle from the same foam paper and stuck it onto the belt. To give extra security I added a few stitches.

The sleeves were the easiest of all.  I used red felt which helped bring out the darker red Word Girl uses around her wrists. 

I also had to make red trunks to go over the black trunks on the Incredibles costume. This was the hardest part for me.  I had no clue what to do and didn't want to mess up the costume as I'm sure the boys will be into in just a few short years. Not to mention, it was very late and I was really sleepy.  I ended up playing around with the red fabric (used on the head piece) and came up with something to simply get us by for the evening. 

My favorite tip was making Word Girl's red boots. We used a pair of long red socks to be worn over her tennis shoes and we had an instant pair of red boots!  Of course, by the end of the night we had to throw the socks away, but replacing those is a piece of cake should we ever decide we need them again. 

Two late nights sewing until 4 am and here is the final product...

She absolutely loved it and was super grateful which ended up making the bags I am now sporting underneath my eyes all worth it! 

And if you noticed above, she's holding Captain Huggy, Word Girl's sidekick! (Isabella just had to have him! )  This was a last minute project Sunday morning right before we headed to church. It literally took about 5 minutes.

We borrowed a blue T-shirt from Cash and put it on his monkey (the extra one that is only for emergencies). I used some scrap yellow fabric from Word Girl's cape to make his belt and simply tied this around his waste. I cut circles out from the foam paper and hot glued it to the yellow belt. I cut out a yellow lightening bolt also from the foam paper and glued it to the front of his chest. For his head piece, I used the scrap red fabric that we used on Word Girl's head piece and tied it around his head. I tucked the knot into the collar of the blue shirt. (I told you this was a last minute thing!) Then I cut out slits for his ears to stick out and there you have it....Mr Huggy!

The other 3 dressed up as characters from the Cat in the Hat. I got the idea when I walked into a consignment shop to inquire about selling some items and spotted a Thing One and Thing Two Costume! I couldn't resist. After that, I hyped up the idea to Elianna on being the Cat and the Hat. She was sold after I mentioned painting her face and wearing red lip stick!

So here is Elianna as The Cat in the Hat! (I purchased the hat, bow and gloves and sewed her tail on).

And we can't forget about Thing One and Thing Two...

Thing One refused to wear his blue hair and was unsure about what to do most of the evening, but he loved getting pushed around in his wagon and eating candy!

The cutest and happiest Thing Two I ever did see! He fought his brother for candy the whole night!

Mr. Potato Head Pumpkins

While shopping one weekend at Wal-mart I came across these!

So fun! I got the idea from a friend (Thanks SB!),  but had never seen them. While we still had pumpkin carving on the agenda, this really was so much easier!  As you can see, the kids had a blast decorating!

and our porch looks great too! 

What Every Mom Needs To Know After a Bad Day…

...from one of my favorite fellow Mommy Bloggers Kat at Inspired to Action

Photo Credit

A few months ago I had one of those terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days that all moms have every once in awhile.
Sometimes every two or three times in awhile.

After finally putting the kids to bed, with a deep sigh felt through the ages, I buried my head in my husband’s chest and in true Anne of Green Gables fashion, I proceeded to pour out my frustration and deep despair at what a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day it was and what a terrible, horrible, no good,very bad mom I was.

I mentally calculated the future therapy bill my kids would require after our rotten day.

Finally, in an expression of true blogger angst, I said, “…and what the WORLD am I doing writing a blog about motherhood?!!! I’m a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad mom!!”

But I’m not dramatic. Obviously.

Yet my wonderfully patient, wise husband gently replied, “Sweetie, it’s not about the mom you were today. It’s about the mom you’re FIGHTING to be. And you? You’re FIGHTING to be a great mom…”

His words of comfort silenced me.

Friends, we all have bad days. Sometimes we have bad weeks. Maybe you’ve had bad years. But those are the past. We can learn from them, but they DO NOT define us.

Our mistakes are part of our journey. They are NOT our definition.
In light of the magnificent purpose to which we have been called, we cannot waste time nurturing our regrets. They require too much of us.

We can learn from our bad days, our mistakes and then we must lay them down, leave them behind andfight on.

Kat blogs at Inspired To Action, a site dedicated to helping moms develop the habits and skills they need to effectively manage their homes and raise children who are prepared to change the world. Kat and her husband Jimmy live the great state of Texas and have 3 children ages 7, 5 and 2. Kat loves music, running, technology, Jesus and Tex-Mex food. Not necessarily in that order.